Several weeks ago, as I was sitting in the waiting room at the fertility clinic, a looseleaf handout left on one of the small coffee tables caught my eye. It must have been left over from December, because the topic was 'Coping with Infertility during the Holiday Season.'
I found the expert's suggestions, well, condescending and when I thought more about it, very alarming. All under the banner of "self preservation."
Among the counselor's expert advice: 1. Avoid shopping malls and toy stores where you may run into families and small children. If you
MUST buy a gift for a small child, like a niece or nephew, consider buying it online and then having it directly delivered to the child....so you basically won't have to endure the inevitable pain of watching a child joyously opening the gift you picked out??
2. *This really angered me* Avoid going to church services or other events where there may be an "increased emphasis on children." If you "feel you
MUST go to church," consider midnight mass or an alternative time when you know there will be less children present.
I stopped reading at that point.
Here is my question: in a world that is increasingly devaluing the precious gift of children, is it really best that I, a childless, mommy wannabe, make an increased effort to isolate myself into a childless bubble??
Allow me to set aside the fact, for a moment, that my job requires me to work with five to eight different children and their families each day. Is it best for me, and for my community, family, friends, and church to avoid babies and children and their parents because it might make me sad?
Here is our world today. Since the Roe v. Wade law passed in 1973, over 56 million babies have been killed by abortion in the United States alone (http://www.numberofabortions.com/). Or, to put it in more PC terms, 56 million unwanted pregnancies terminated. There is an increasing effort by the media and Hollywood to objectify young girls, pushing them quickly from childhood innocence into a self conscious adulthood (http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2013/03/07/clothing-retailers-push-lingerie-on-teens/#4546-7). The current day sex slave trade turns little children into objects to buy, sell, use, and discard at will (http://love146.org/slavery). China's one child policy, forcing baby girls, if not aborted, into orphanages (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy).
I could go on, but you get the point.
I have spent time reflecting on my current situation, in light of these issues in our world, and what God has to say about it. And here are some of my working conclusions.
As I said before, I am a childless- mommy- wannabe, and as such, I believe I have a unique perspective on how valuable and precious children are. While I do envy the "oh-we-weren't-even-trying-haha-it-just-happened" couples, I also know that they will never really experience what it feels like to long, I mean, really
LONG to hold a baby in their arms. To hang onto God and hope for more time than 9 months. They don't know what it is to
ache for a baby. To pray on the bedroom floor in tears, "God, bring me my babies!"
Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me' (Matthew 19:14). Jesus never married and never had children. But He recognized their value, and He ministered to those families. He knew, because He was there at the creation, that each child was uniquely made in the image and likeness of God. Therefore, they are gifts to be treasured.
Just when His disciples were shooing the young ones away, He rebuked his disciples and pulled the children close.
As a Christ follower, I MUST do the same. I don't believe the best thing for me to do is avoid young children and families. I think the best thing for me to do is pour myself out as an offering, to keep close to those celebrating their children. To joyfully celebrate the pregnancies of my friends. To volunteer at our church nursery, babysit for friends, host a baby shower, and maybe even visit an orphanage in India. I say this not to bring glory to myself, only to give glory to my God, who poured Himself out for me. Jesus did so for me, and called me then to 'love the least of these.'
I don't claim to do this perfectly, I have my days of self pity and avoidance, but my life needs to reflect my Savior, so that is what I strive for, not self preservation.
Jesus told us, if we want to save our life, we will end up destroying it, but if we lose our life for His sake and the Gospel, then that is when we will save it. (Mark 8:34-35)
