Childless bubble anyone?

Several weeks ago, as I was sitting in the waiting room at the fertility clinic, a looseleaf handout left on one of the small coffee tables caught my eye.  It must have been left over from December, because the topic was 'Coping with Infertility during the Holiday Season.'

I found the expert's suggestions, well, condescending and when I thought more about it, very alarming.  All under the banner of "self preservation."

Among the counselor's expert advice: 1. Avoid shopping malls and toy stores where you may run into families and small children.  If you MUST buy a gift for a small child, like a niece or nephew, consider buying it online and then having it directly delivered to the child....so you basically won't have to endure the inevitable pain of watching a child joyously opening the gift you picked out??

2. *This really angered me* Avoid going to church services or other events where there may be an "increased emphasis on children." If you "feel you MUST go to church," consider midnight mass or an alternative time when you know there will be less children present.

I stopped reading at that point.

Here is my question: in a world that is increasingly devaluing the precious gift of children, is it really best that I, a childless, mommy wannabe, make an increased effort to isolate myself into a childless bubble??

Allow me to set aside the fact, for a moment, that my job requires me to work with five to eight different children and their families each day.  Is it best for me, and for my community, family, friends, and church to avoid babies and children and their parents because it might make me sad?

Here is our world today.  Since the Roe v. Wade law passed in 1973, over 56 million babies have been killed by abortion in the United States alone (http://www.numberofabortions.com/). Or, to put it in more PC terms, 56 million unwanted pregnancies terminated. There is an increasing effort by the media and Hollywood to objectify young girls, pushing them quickly from childhood innocence into a self conscious adulthood (http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2013/03/07/clothing-retailers-push-lingerie-on-teens/#4546-7).  The current day sex slave trade turns little children into objects to buy, sell, use, and discard at will (http://love146.org/slavery).  China's one child policy, forcing baby girls, if not aborted, into orphanages (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy).

I could go on, but you get the point.

I have spent time reflecting on my current situation, in light of these issues in our world, and what God has to say about it.  And here are some of my working conclusions.

As I said before, I am a childless- mommy- wannabe, and as such, I believe I have a unique perspective on how valuable and precious children are.  While I do envy the "oh-we-weren't-even-trying-haha-it-just-happened" couples, I also know that they will never really experience what it feels like to long, I mean, really LONG to hold a baby in their arms.  To hang onto God and hope for more time than 9 months.  They don't know what it is to ache for a baby.  To pray on the bedroom floor in tears, "God, bring me my babies!"

Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me' (Matthew 19:14). Jesus never married and never had children.  But He recognized their value, and He ministered to those families.  He knew, because He was there at the creation, that each child was uniquely made in the image and likeness of God.  Therefore, they are gifts to be treasured.

Just when His disciples were shooing the young ones away, He rebuked his disciples and pulled the children close.

As a Christ follower, I MUST do the same.  I don't believe the best thing for me to do is avoid young children and families.  I think the best thing for me to do is pour myself out as an offering, to keep close to those celebrating their children.  To joyfully celebrate the pregnancies of my friends.  To volunteer at our church nursery, babysit for friends, host a baby shower, and maybe even visit an orphanage in India.  I say this not to bring glory to myself, only to give glory to my God, who poured Himself out for me.  Jesus did so for me, and called me then to 'love the least of these.'

I don't claim to do this perfectly, I have my days of self pity and avoidance, but my life needs to reflect my Savior, so that is what I strive for, not self preservation.

Jesus told us, if we want to save our life, we will end up destroying it, but if we lose our life for His sake and the Gospel, then that is when we will save it. (Mark 8:34-35)

Come and worship

Depressed?  Having trouble putting one foot in front of the other today? Yeah, me too.

Today, this blog is a worship center, and you are welcome to worship the Living God with me.

Matthew 16:24 "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." 

Psalm 102:3-4; 12 "For my days are consumed like smoke, And my bones are burned like a hearth. My heart is stricken and withered like grass, So that I forget to eat my bread...But You, O Lord, shall endure forever, And the remembrance of Your name to all generations." 




Ephesians 5:1-2 "Therefore be imitators of God as dear children, and walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." 

Ode to Famous Infertile Couples: Part 4

I took Sunday off from this week of daily blogging.  Today, I am returning to the book of Genesis to take a look at another couple who struggled with infertility, but God eventually granted them children.

Isaac, the promised son born to Sarah and Abraham found he and his wife also struggling to get pregnant.


Genesis 25:21

"Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren.  The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant." 


I love this because it not only reminds me that God hears our prayers, but that the power of a husband praying for his wife and a wife praying for her husband, I think, is very powerful.  Zach and I pray together almost every night, and I know that God is moving in our lives because of it.  We sometimes text message each other Bible verses of encouragement, during the work day.  Just saying, "I am praying for you right now!" can be so encouraging.

God instructs us to pray to Him, and I am not exactly sure how it all works in the spiritual world, but I know it is powerful.

I have also been very blessed by friends and family praying hard for us.  Thank you for praying on our behalf.

Ode to Famous Infertile Couples: Part 3

"My heart rejoices in the Lord; My horn is exalted in the Lord.  I smile at my enemies, Because I rejoice in Your salvation.  No one is holy like the Lord, For there is none besides You, Nor is there any rock like our God." (1 Samuel 2:1-2) Hannah's prayer

Hannah and Elkanah, the Old Testament couple who eventually had Samuel.  The first chapter of the first book of Samuel opens with his mother, Hannah, and her hurt and pain in her infertility.

"And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish." (1 Sam 1:10) 

She prayed so hard and with such emotion at the temple, that the priest, Eli, thought she was drunk! (v.14)

Once Eli reassures her that God has heard her prayer, she is able to "eat and no longer be sad" (v.18)

Hannah's example gives me permission to approach God with all my anger and sadness, and then He always somehow reassures me of His promises.  That He is a God who hears us, and listens.  God loves to bless His children.

Ode to Famous Infertile Couples: Part 2

 I am going to take a break from Biblical couples today.

 I feel like this story is part of my cultural history, in a way.  Being that I am such a TV and movie fan.  I remember watching Superman TV shows and movies as a kid.  I was driving the other day, and this usually overlooked comic book couple came to mind. They provided such reassurance and steadfastness for our lead hero.  I just had to include them in my Ode.

To Martha and Jonathan Kent.

According to Wiki, Martha had always wanted a family.  The Kents led a humble life in the country, and desperately wanted children.  But they never could have any.  Until one day after a meteor shower left an abandoned little baby in a krater on their land.  Martha felt strongly that the baby boy was meant to be their's, and so they raised their adopted son.  Martha and Jonathan taught Clark strong moral values, to be kind, reject evil, and help others in need.  They raised Superman!


I like to think that Superman chose to use his powers for good, were in part credit to the wisdom of his parents.

"Hear, my son, and be wise; And guide your heart in the way." (Proverbs 23:19) 

Ode to Famous Infertile Couples: Part 1

Every day for the next week, I will be honoring well-known couples who suffered from infertility.

I was thinking yesterday, about how when I tell some people about our journey, I am usually sure to tell them that God is working in all of this.  One woman said to me, "Oh, don't worry, God will give you a baby in His time!"

Yes, I know this.  I have faith, that one day, God will grant us children.  But, I also know that God wants us to be grateful for the present moments.  That as a child of God, "chosen and holy" according to Deuteronomy 7:6, I have a long family line to look to and see that we are not experiencing anything new and that God uses infertility to fulfill His great purposes.  He has done so throughout history.

I also recalled, while preparing for this week of 'Ode to Famous Infertile Couples' that the entertainment industry has a way of sprinkling in real life issues into their characters. I will get to those later.

For now, my first couple, Abraham and Sarah.

(Genesis 13- 18) God promised Abraham and Sarah numerous descendants, yet they had no children.  When Sarah became pregnant with Isaac, she was 90 years old!  And Abraham was 100 years old!

How many countless months, and then years, did Sarah think: "Maybe this month?  Maybe this time?" But for her hopes to be dashed.  It got to the point, when physically and medically speaking, to be pregnant was impossible! Sarah laughed when she overheard that she would bear a son (Genesis 18:10-13).  God proved that He controls all things, and He can make the impossible happen.  God made it so there is little room to question His power, and His hand, in establishing His chosen people. You would have to make some pretty huge leaps to try and say that this was not a miracle and required an act of God! Abraham was sure, and had faith that God would fulfill His promise, he was just not sure what it was going to look like.  God did not reveal His plan until the time came.

I know that God is doing a similar thing with me and Zach.  While I hope we will not be 90 or 100 years old!! I do know that God never changes.  I know he uses the weaknesses of his chosen people to demonstrate His glory! In Abraham and Sarah's case, their age.