Audiam vocal eius- a guide through the events leading to my babies

The title, "Audiam vocal eius, " is Latin for "I listen to His voice." Psalm 119:105 is a well-known verse, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” Nothing better describes the role of God’s word, His voice, during my 3 ½ year journey from infertility to a healthy pregnancy of multiples! 

This has been taped to my mirror since April 2012.

This has been on our living room table since April 2012.

After Zach and I married, we both knew we wanted children and saw no reason to wait, but God had other plans as He often does.  After almost a year of trying, we went to a fertility doctor to start the testing process and the best ways to approach our issues.   The first thing suggested to us was timed ovulation with a trigger shot for me to ovulate.  After that did not work, we moved on to IUIs.  After 2 of those did not work, we took a break.  During this time, the Lord was so merciful to us.  We were surrounded with friends who understood, who kindly sympathized, and prayed with us.  I joined with Caroline Harris for Mom’s In the Making.  It was there that I discovered what the Bible says about fertility, how God loves to bless His children, and that He wants us to ‘be fruitful and multiply’.  During this time, I had several visions of my children.  Two visions specifically. There were always three children the same age, 2 girls and 1 boy, playing in my kitchen and in the other one they were playing outside.  I had a good friend tell me she had a dream and felt strongly I was going to have triplets.  I was not sure exactly what to think at this point, I just knew that God was going to give us children in His time.  I got the courage to return to the doctor, and try IUIs again.  After those failed, we began to consider IVF.  To this point, we had felt wary of this procedure.  IVF is much more intense than IUIs, more time, more money, more shots, and also, more ethical decision-making.  Every couple that decides to try IVF must make these decisions for themselves.  Thankfully, we went to a doctor that was able and willing to freeze eggs (or oocytes) our goal was to transfer all embryos to my uterus, as opposed to freezing embryos.  Again, after our research and prayer, this was the plan we came up with and every couple is different.  Because we wanted to transfer all embryos, we took the chance of less success by inseminating very few eggs.  Praise God, we had a successful retrieval.  Our doctor stated that because I am 31 years old, protocol is to transfer no more than 2 embryos.  However, if we had 3, she would be reluctant but willing to transfer 3 if it came down to that.  (Note: she seriously doubted we would get 3 with the few eggs we were willing to inseminate!) I did not mention all the signs I was getting about 3!

 

These flowers popped up in March 2014, nothing has grown there since.  I don't have a green thumb!

 

The March birthday card Zach got for me!

From my journal March 9, 2014

In April 2014, we had 2 embryos to transfer, and I was hopeful, but then heartbroken when we found out this was not it.  We were not pregnant.  We took a month off.  During that time, I had a friend come visit me from Colorado.  While she stayed at our house, she had a dream we had triplets.  She told us how her 3-year-old daughter prayed every night for “Haley’s two baby girls.”

There is a pond near our home that we go walking our dog, and there was a momma duck with 3 ducklings. 

In May, we returned to the doctor’s office.  We thawed 4 eggs to then inseminate.  And, low and behold, we had 3 embryos!  On the day of transfer, I could feel the almost ringing of spiritual activity.  (I don’t know how else to describe it!) Our doctor came in the room, and gave us what I would call quite the lecture.  She said we had a 10% chance of having triplets, and then listed all the medical risks involved with having multiples.  She wanted us to freeze one.  I have to admit, I started to doubt our decision for a moment.  But I could not ignore the months full of wondrous signs and words given to us.   “3, 3, 3, 3, 3” kept running through my head!  Zach stood strong behind me.  All three were going in, and God was in charge. 

In the transfer room there are two screens.  One was of my uterus; one was the lab dish with the embryos with “HILTON” written on it.  Because we were breaking protocol, I think our doctor wanted everyone in the office to be present.  It was a crowd! Even at just a few cells, our babies put on a show!  The three tiny circles formed in a triangular position all together, with 2 on the bottom and 1 on top between the “L” and “T.”  Everyone looked at the screen and I could see their mouths drop.  One doctor said, “I have never seen that before!” She looked at me, “It’s like they are making a cheerleader pyramid for you!”

That was a huge moment for me.  I knew we were doing the right thing, no matter what happened, those were my babies!

Things happened quickly after that!

On June 23^rd, 2014, we got the news that we were pregnant!!!! My beta numbers were extremely high. 

On July 14^th, we had our first sonogram.

1st sonogram of babies, 3 strong heartbeats!

On September 26^th, we found out baby A is a boy, and babies B and C are our girls!

I am currently 21 weeks pregnant.  Everyone is healthy, and progressing well! 

Now, the last thing I would ever want is for someone to read this and think that I somehow used Scripture and magically made some sort of spell and predictions to get my babies.  Not at all!  My story is in many ways no different from any other Christian.  My story really begins with repentance.  My life embedded in Christ, is where my life really began.  Repentance that leads to true sorrow for my sin leads straight into true healing because “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” I have Jesus’ righteousness clothed around me, so that when I approach the Father with all my fears, desires, and questions, He sees the Son.  I am an heir in Christ! 

Surrendering to God’s will for my life has brought me to this point, and will carry me through motherhood!  May you read this and give all the glory to God our Father!  We thank Him for medical science, we thank Him for the doctors and lab workers, we thank Him for the faithful prayers of others on our behalf, and we thank Him for these new little lives!  The Lord  God has truly done this for me!   Blessed be His Name!