Today, while working with two children that I have known and worked for for over 2 years now were coloring with me; the little 3 year old kept calling me "mommy" several times. As I walked to my car and drove off after the session, I realized, while this is not uncommon for young children to call their teachers "mommy" what caught me was my reaction to it. It had taken me until the end of the session to correct him, to call me "Ms Haley". Throughout the session, I let the "mommy" just wash over me like a cool wave. And, I hate to admit this, but I started to 'pretend' that I was to this child, what he was calling me. When I am not.
I thought about how God has provided for me time and time again, so why do I keep doubting His ways?
When I was in college, I pretended that my boyfriend was my husband, when he was not. I realized later that God had much greater plans for me. Not only to have an amazing husband -- with a mutual loving and growing relationship, but He wanted me to get to know Him. Through His son Jesus, I got to know the God who has great plans for me all along.
I have been studying Philippians this summer, so these passages have come to my mind and it is amazing how as I read them, I see doors opening and insight into what God has for me.
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." (Phil 4:11)
- OK, so, I obviously need to learn what Paul learned here. My battle is always with discontentment. Always looking forward to what I don't have now, and thinking things should be different, and in the meantime loosing opportunities to be who I am.
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Phil 1:6)
- God started His work in my heart when I was younger, and has been faithful even though I have not always been faithful!!
"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight." (Phil 1:9)
- I am learning that God is good, and that God is God no matter what is going on in my life, and no matter what others say or what I say or think, God is who He is. He is God and I can give Him glory in my life whether I have a baby or not. I still pray that I do, because I am aware that my circumstances are not uncommon.
I laugh at how little patience I have, and how God is sorta telling me, yeah, let's work on that, huh?
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